Covid-19

The covid-19 pandemic has shown me what I really need and what I want when getting old.

The New York Times article, What Weaknesses and Strengths About Our World Are Being Exposed by This Pandemic, describes my thoughts on this pandemic very well, I have be thinking a lot over these things, most aspect of our lives, food, shelter, entertainment, economics ect, as the article calls for. And not least what I need myself to get through this time of the pandemic in one piece.

I have taken extra time for my plants, both to relieve stress and as a pastime. The games I usually play, when having time for it, has been overloaded and impossible just to access when the rest of the world is trying to do the same. Besides having to do very little social media, cause of too much covid-19 info, that kept me awake at night. So I have had to slow down all time on the web and release lots of time for other things. But too much free time, alone and indoors, during a pandemic, is virtually a curse in its own right.

Pic - Just to pass some of all that spare time, I decided my plants needed new soil and pots, I found some of these in my plants and flowers, they had eaten all roots of my strawberries - when the soil was sifted, they could easily be removed and served to the birds on my balcony - besides, gardening is actually very relaxing.

In our city, as elsewhere in this country, there have been some problems with too many people who gather too close, in the city's green areas, so fines were printed, in a price range that would ruin me, which again only keeps me even more trapped at home. So I need an undisturbed and private outdoor area, which I do not have here, the neighboring balcony is too close, so close that you are hardly ever alone out there, which again is a problem if you, like me, who need x number of hours alone every day to be able to cope with stress.

For weeks now, I have been sick during this pandemic, just not by covid-19 and the main symptoms has been strikingly consistent with the Menière's disease, having had ear problems all life (repeating otitis media, buzzing in the ears, ear pain without a cold, even some hearing loss) not unthinkable at all and this I need to have looked into, when this pandemic is over.

I have been forced to slowdown, rest a lot, eat regular and not least having very regular sleep and in the right amount, every day. If I do not, I get so dizzy I can hardly walk upright to the bathroom or even just watch television. 

Fortunately, I feel better now, physical actually better than I have been for years, and have even gained some weight, which has been almost impossible for the last 15-20 years, where the weight slowly but surely only went one way, down and down and down.

Unfortunately, this pandemic has mentally, thrown me straight back to the Stone Age and again I have to take sedative pills, just to be able to do my own groceries myself. Will this massive mental illness relapses continue after the pandemic? For obvious reasons I can't say for sure, cause I don't know the answer to this, this is my very first pandemic ever.

This I know for sure, I need to move again soon and I need to make life changes, within a few years, how to afford this is unknown, I have no financial opportunity as it is, no matter how important, to my physical and mental well-being and I know I need to be prepared for the next pandemic, cause eventually, it will happen again and that too, is for sure.

Based on ongoing pandemic related issues, here is some of what I need:

a quieter and ground level home

a home with lots of natural light all day, all year

more privacy

more daily peace and silence in my surroundings

a private and undisturbed little garden

storage for garden stuff (soil, pots ect)

a washing machine

better food storage

better storage for groceries in general

a bigger freezer

And this is some of what I want:

keep helping/visiting my dad weekly and patching our relationship

to do gardening

to be able to grow some vegetables and berries

to be able to continue helping our butterflies and wild bees

to be able to do something for the local bird population

be able to hear the birds singing

be able to enjoy silence

owning a "real" butterfly bush

to own a tiny greenhouse

be able to sit outside having breakfast